Rx Net

Rx Net attempts to answer the question of what is the big deal about modern medicines. Just when we get to the age of not getting a thrill over street drugs, everybody seems to want us to try out some of the new drugs that are legal and promise to treat everything from herpes to toenail fungae, to erectile dysfunction, to PMS sysmptoms. Sounds great, but often they have a ton of side effects that seem much worse than the original problem! We watch the commercials on television and there is more information about what the possible side effects are than what it cures.

 

Hmm, the new miracle drug causes cancer in lab rats that are fed this crap in high quantity, causes hair loss if you’re already predispositioned to going bald, and if there is a possibility you are pregnant there is nothing that you better go near except pickled ice cream with peanut butter topping. Well, that doesn’t sounds too bad. Maybe I should have my doctor write a prescription for that.

Umm, in all this wonderment, I forgot...what’s the benefit? Oh yeah, it’s for “erectile disfunction”. What a scientific term. We used to all understand it when someone said the ol fart can’t get it up any more. I’m a woman, so why do I need it? That lady looks so mmmmm satisfied. Then she spoils it all and says it’s good for when HE wants it. Maybe I should order up a bottle of whatever looks good for headaches this week.

Why is it that I get all those emails that say, “Susan, you can increase the volume of your ejaculation” like that’s a good thing. Someone please send a book of names to the Chinese and the Koreans spammers. They can’t even figure out what sex Susan is, so why would anyone want to buy medicines from them. pssst, Hey Tojo, Susan doesn’t have ejaculation problems and does nto want to enlarge her penis. There’s no telling what could happen if she takes your dang pills. Come on Tojo, get it right!

The pharmaceutical companies have made some major advances with some of their modern medicines. It’s too late for me. I’ve decided to live with, and embrace the fact I am absolutely crazy. Once I did that, I was cured!

Love sick, love starved, or sexually frustrated? I got over that just by watching the evening news. Nothing cures “sexually wanting” quite like seeing Saddam or Osama every night for a few years. Can you imagine being married to bin Laden? “What?! We’re moving again? I finally got the cave looking just the way we like it.”

There are pills for everything! Who needs them? I tried that stuff that is supposed to keep nasty little cartoon creatures from crawling under your toenails. I swallow those pills for more than two weeks, and the fuglies came back again. I finally got rid of the toenail brownouts by dousing a cotton swab with listerine and applying it copiously right on the top of each toenail, and it only took one dousing a day for 3 days.

Other than being crazy and getting bouts of hot flashes, I am thankfully in excellent health, but I want to know some things, like why we can buy drugs made in America cheaper if we go to Canada.

Has the word obesity been toned down so it’s now called thin-challenged? I do so strive to be PC and use the up to date politically correct wording. If I were a lazy, fatassed thin-challenged person, I would probably get real excited about being able to lose 20 punds by taking a little pill while sitting on my rear, munching junkfood all day and all night.

Ah, but there is some really good news. They’ve found out that pot helps people who have many illnesses, from glaucoma to helping deal with pain caused by some cancers. The bad news is that the local garden club got busted today. Please go bail out Granny.

 

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